Language

I have Logolepsy. This means I am obsessed with words, So much so that when I was eleven I wanted to be the lexicographer on countdown. To me it makes sense that I would love words, I have been reading for a long time. I learnt to read well before I got to school. When the others in my reception class were still on “The magic Key” books, I was reading the first Harry potter, though I did mispronounce a lot of the words.

The English language has many strange words that I am very fond of. My favourite currently is Cornobble. This means, to slap or beat someone with a fish. Another pretty word is Psithurism, which is the sound of the wind blowing thought the trees and I have often wanted to yerd people when they call me strange for liking words. Yerd being to beat someone with a stick.

Our language has evolved from Shakespeare’s difficult verses, to text talk and emoji’s, which I am convinced is just human kind reverting back to hieroglyphics, and yet we still manage to create beautiful poetry, comedy, and tales with the ever expanding dictionaries of modern words that are our brains.

And who creates these amazing pieces of text that are being propelled at us from every available angle? The younger generation. We are the ones that can use shorthand and abbreviations to communicate in one moment, then churn out sonnets and soliloquies the next. We aren’t just the generation of technology, we are the generation of art.

Coincidently, there is a wonderful word that describes how I thought of this; Jouska, a theoretical conversation that you compulsively play out on your head. This Jouska came from a Sonder moment. Sonder being the realisation that everyone you pass has a life that is as vivid and as complex as yours. And although everyone has a vivid and complex life, I bet everyone will Google the words I have spoken, to make sure I am not making things up. 

The Book I Will Never Write

So many ideas flutter around my head each night. The sleep induced thoughts that drift from the deepest mesh of the brain. My thoughts are never so pleasant as to present fields of daises or butter cups, but are pleasant enough to bring fourth barriers to the monsters, or if barriers are a scarce option, a blade to duel with. 

I use these thoughts to create a manuscript. A masterpiece of language and captivating speech, a volume of adventure, of love, of life. Perhaps there is a hero, or maybe I am that. Sometimes there are villains, but I can play this part just as well. This gripping manual is perspective view of my understanding of reality, so I don't expect to make sense. 

My opus is a work in progress, a never ending story. Another tale gets added to the anthology and makes it harder to conclude. However much I want the ending to come, I am never provided with the resolution. Some things aren't meant to end. Some things aren't meant to be written.

Unfortunately, this is the book I will never write. 

Food For Thought

My diet has never been ideal. I have a sweet tooth and I eat way too much sugar for me to be healthy.


3 Months ago...
I live of what my mum calls "Student Food" which is instant noodles and canned foods. I don't drink much water, instead it's energy drinks, tea, and coke. I also don't eat at regular intervals. I don't have breakfast. My lunch is always fairly small and eaten at 3 in the afternoon. Dinner is whatever mum makes at whatever time she makes it. I snack during the day which doesn't fill me up at all. And I am not happy with my diet at all.

Now...
I am still on the student food and I still drink coke and tea. I no longer drink energy drinks excessively because they make me shake and feel too hyper for me to function as a normal human being. I drink so much water that I feel like a cucumber most days, but I know it is good for me. I still dont have breakfast but I do grab fruit in the morning if I remember, then eat it on the bus. I have regular dinners and lunches now at normal times because I have people to eat with. I do snack but that is just to keep my attention on the lessons or I will lose concentration. I am fairly happy with my diet.

My diet has always been pretty balanced. I get all the right fruit and veg and I never over did it on the bad stuff... Until a few years ago. When the stress of school started to rise, so did my need for energy and I went into school buzzed on sugar every day. I know the dangers of consuming too much sugar and fats and that is why I wanted to change my diet. I dont want to be twenty and having atherosclerosis and hypertension ( For you non med people, blocked blood vessels and high blood pressure).

Food for thought : Just think of your meat suit you pick up a can of sugar.

Dear last year.

Dear last year,
 
     You were fawning over that cool, grown up guy. He turns out to be a negative person who makes you feel like crap all the time but you realise that pretty quickly, so don't worry. You were trying to bang into your friend's head that her current boy friend was a douche. He is. You were right. You get to say "I told you so" on Christmas eve but it brings you absolutely no pleasure because it kills her a little inside. You do get to cheer her on as she cuts up all of his stuff, that's fun!

You were trying to revise for your mock exams but to no avail. Your school work is kind of rubbish because of your foul mood and you aren't eating as well as you think. You say that your great aunt's death doesn't affect you but it does. You don't feel sad that she is gone, because you accepted the concept of death a long time ago, but you get down because you start thinking about what it would be like to die. What you were to feel if you died.

When you are sat writing this next year, you will realise how much better you are, mentally and physically. You are on a much less stressful course in college and you have surrounded yourself with pretty cool people. Your boyfriend, who is a bit more childish than you although he is older, is genuinely nice to the people who deserve it. He also doesn't shout at people in customer service which you appreciate. Your friend has made so much progress when it comes to doing what is best for her. She went to Comic Con with you and did really well with the crowds! You are so proud of her. You have a actual job! it is in retail which is sort of weird but its interesting and gets you paid so it doesn't matter.

Dear last year,
 
I'll see you next November.

2014 Edition

Every so often I scroll through Facebook to delete all of the rubbish I put up there before I got self respect, before 2014 basically, and I find some pretty cool stuff. So here are some of those things I said but with better grammar and spelling. The 2014 edition/The last edition!

2014
-The way Bilbo Baggins looks at dwarfs is the way I look at you.
-I choose my clothes on whether I can brutishly kill and maim my enemies in them.
-Birds are spawned through the Devil's eye dust!
-Renowned pillow biter.
-Just told by mum to go eat the kids.... okay, if you say so.
-A sex pheromone in male mice urine was named "Darcin" after Mr Darcy.
-My heaven is what I would go to hell for.
-Queens do not weep so weakly.
-Nothing is on fire. Fire is on the thing.
-Why do people in Peppa Pig cheer when they have to dig up the road?
-"If I am for the axe, then for mercy's sake, swing it." - Loki, Thor TDW
-(Watching Sherlock)
  Sister: He's going to die, isn't he?
  Me: Killing him is SO two years ago.


This is me getting arrested at Comic Con last year... Lets hope it doesn't happen again this time!

2013 edition

Every so often I scroll through Facebook to delete all of the rubbish I put up there before I got self respect, before 2014 basically, and I find some pretty cool stuff. So here are some of those things I said but with better grammar and spelling. The 2013 edition!

2013
-May I feel? Said he. ( I posted this poem every week or so for a few months. May I feel by E.E. Cummings)
-I have programmed my sister to say Loki-Dokie instead of Okie-Dokie.
-Hang there like fruit, my soul, till the tree dies. (Shakespeare)
-Doctor Who is so far; Nudity, suggestive behaviour, and relationship talk.
-St Nick is the patron saint of prostitutes.
-Morgan is giving beauty and fashion advice to my bedroom door.
-There is a place called 'Bald knob ' in America
-A Mental Mind Fuck Can be Nice - Frank, RHPS
-I can't wait to smoke this turtle!
-"You love your wife, I love your wife, shouldn't we be on the same side?"- Casanova
-I solemnly swear I am up to no good, when I think about you more than I should.
-"I'm going to be straight with you" -Gaydar radio
-I'm so bright I have my own colour spectrum.
-I would be happy to oblige.. After you bend down and kiss my arse that is!

I think I got some decent friends at this point so some of the crap stopped.

Me, October 2013.

2012 Edition

Every so often I scroll through Facebook to delete all of the rubbish I put up there before I got self respect, before 2014 basically, and I find some pretty cool stuff. So here are some of those things I said but with better grammar and spelling. The 2012 edition!

2012;
-I dress like a doll but swear like a sailor.
-Pardon me Sir Gangster, your trousers are descending.
-Will's house is the Teenage Day Care... We should start charging!
-What if Gangnam Style is a rain dance?..... We brought Sandy to America!
-Love waving at random people because they are trying to figure out who you are for the rest of the day.
-Mary, Mary, quite contrary, let all the boys have a go. In nine months time, it's DNA time on the Jeremy Kyle show.
-Don't say goodbye. Goodbye leads to leaving, leaving leads to forgetting.
-"Why am I the only one who doesn't get banged in the corridors?" Maria, year 10
-You make me laugh and cry so much I want to punch and kiss you
-Kate Middleton has taught us that every princess has a well fit sister
-Demons never die
-Why do we get sore throats when we cry? I'm walking home and wondering why.
-Every girl starts a pawn, then they realise they should be the queen.
-I could piss off a happy meal.
-This town is like one big outpatient mental facility .
-Sat in McDonald's and there seems to be a glamorous granny competition. One went overkill on the foundation and the other is listening to rock on her apple macbook!
-Only sad people write about ending up with the dream boy.
-BRING ON THE VAMPS
-One in ten children in the UK are conceived on a IKEA bed.


I think some of them deserve context but I don't want to give any because they are pretty funny as they are.

Me, June 2012

2010/11 Edition

Every so often I scroll through Facebook to delete all of the rubbish I put up there before I got self respect, before 2014 basically, and I find some pretty cool stuff. So here are some of those things I said but with better grammar and spelling. The 2010 and 2011 edition!

WARNING:

2010 and 2011 were the years now known as the "random phase". It is called this because we used to post things such as "Quack, I'm a turtle" on Facebook and it is very embarrassing when you go back through it. These years are together because I have deleted the majority of statuses that I put up because there was no good content then.

PS. I was too young to be on Facebook at this point, I was only meant to have it to keep in touch with some old mates when I moved away but I was a bit of a idiot.

2010
-I have a gun, a shovel, and a map of the desert. Keep talking.
-Don't let the world change your smile, let your smile change the world.


2011
-Curry's don't sell curries, Boots don't sell boots, Dominoes don't sell dominoes, and Superdrug is just a waste of time!
-I'm counting bodies like sheep.
-I got trapped in the Bournemouth Library lift
-When the Citizenship teacher says "Get out," you know you have won the argument.
-No, Katy Perry. I can honestly say I have never felt like a plastic bag.
-The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.

I don't miss being twelve!

Look at that innocent face! You wouldn't think she was posting really rubbish stuff online, would you?

Me, April 2010

Public, Private?

Hello Internet.

I have something to say.

I have seen people posting about their lives on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, and Snap chat for quite a few years now and I have no problem with that at all! In fact, I encourage people to post about what they are doing, where they are going, who they are banging.... maybe not that one (I love that sort of gossip though), but I don't like it when they are posting about other people and what is wrong in their life.

I have done this in the past but thankfully my Facebook is private and people who don't have me as a friend can't see what I post and I have deleted most of the statuses I posted between 2009 and 2014.

The pages and accounts you have on social media are, of course, your spaces but they are also very public and lots of people can see them. If my name is searched on Google my Twitter and YouTube come up which is why I control a lot, and I mean a lot, of the content I have on there. And whenever I bring up the whole "The Internet is very open" and "What you post could be a bit upsetting/offencive" things I get "But it's MY space, I can post what I want" back at me.

So, to celebrate the fact that my Facebook is no longer littered with unnecessary content,I have put together a collage of some of my old statuses through the years that I have spent trolling the Internet. No nasty ones, though! I have erased them from innocent eyes. You will get these in separate posts sorted by year(s).

Hope you enjoy them.

7 Things I have learnt this year

So, as you can see by the title I am going to be writing about the seven major things I have learnt this year. This can be lessons that I have learnt personally or through people I know.

The year I am counting is from September 2014 to August 2015 because I am still in education and that is the calendar I am used to using.


You change as a person and this doesn't mean your friends change in the same way.
I used to adore all my old school friends and now some of them just annoy me. Because I have met new people and done different things this year gone, I have matured and stopped acting like a child like I did in secondary school and because my experience was different to the rest of my old friends', they haven't gone through the same growing up process I did. As I change and grow I am very aware that sometimes people I love will get left behind because we no longer have similar interests or goals and honestly, it is upsetting but it is better to accept it and carry on then hold on to the past.

You can push the limits but make sure you know when to toe the line.
In school I dyed my hair quite a few times and only got caught once and that was because it went a little wrong and I corrected it because I knew I had pushed too far that time. I am friends on Facebook with a few of my sister's friends who are still in school. They are always trying to rebel against the schools they go to and watching them try to be "hard" is just embarrassing, for them and me! I can understand wanting to express yourself, which schools make it hard to do, but doing something just to annoy teachers, who mainly just want to do their job and not deal with unruly teens everyday, it's sort of disrespectful and can impact your learning quite a lot.

In the long run, no one cares how you want to live your life.
Think of it like this; You are a tiny speck of dust in the vast space that is the every expanding universe and your life takes up less than a nanosecond in the continuous line of past present and future. Anything you do in this life doesn't really matter to the universe because you are that small. What you do will affect the people around you and can alter your own life quite a lot, but in the log run and the progression of the universe it doesn't matter. Not one bit. If you have any further questions I am recommending The Universe Doesn't Give a Flying Fuck About You by J.Truant and many others he has written because they make you sit and have a existential crisis because what else should you do on a Sunday afternoon? 

If they look like a Pit bull, they are probably a Chihuahua.  

That is probably the worst way to phrase don't judge a book by it's cover. I have met quite a few people in the last couple of months who act and look like they are going to beat me up if I say the wrong thing but when it actually comes to it, I invite them to try and they back away with their tails between their legs.  All bark, no bite, if you will. I don't judge them though, their day might have been ruff. Then again, they didn't choose the pug life, the pug life chose them.

That was terrier-ble.....I'll stop now.

The people you used to hate because of the people they hung around with actually aren't all that bad.
I was very annoying in secondary school. I can and will admit this fully because I know I was and I am very, very sorry for it. And because I was annoying, people used to not get along with me and I didn't really like them either. Most of the year group I didn't have a problem with, but there were a select few and their "minions" that I purposely targeted with my bubbly attitude and loud morning voice. One of these "minions", I recently found, shares quite a lot of mutual interests with me and we get along quite well... apart from the occasional bantery insults. 

So I guess the lesson here is, don't judge people by who they hang around with, judge people on what fandoms they are in.

Don't work in retail while still in under 18 education.
Just don't.
 If you value your so far free Saturday mornings and your (fairly) stress free studying, don't work in retail.

Don't let your friend put henna on you the day before work.
You will get weird looks if you are pulling down your sleeves at work when you usually roll them up and you will get asked if you have been self harming. Thanks Tyne :)
Plus the guy in the shop will see it and rant about how if you are going to get a tattoo then you should just get a permanent one, not a poser tattoo.

I probably learnt a load of other rubbish this year but these are the things I came up with wile bored earlier.

Summer was not so bad...

So the summer is nearly over... And I've done nothing. 

I'm kidding this time when I say that because I kept a list of all the things I've done between June and August and there is a lot of stuff. This is a list of all the stuff I did with only a bit of context because I would be writing a essay if I gave context to everything. 

Summer 2015:

Went to Cornwall for a fairy festival 

Discovered a new party game called paranoia 

Had my 17th birthday 

Went through (and still going through) my year 7 emo phase again but looking so much better this time!

Discovered I like Muse

Had a free house for a week and did nothing

Beat the high score on the dance mat machine in the arcade 

Went to games workshop for the first time and watched a match before giving up trying to understand anything because I don't have the patience for it

Changed my tumblr URL because I didn't like my old one

Slept in a tipi for a weekend

Went to the New Forest show and climbed up a telephone pole

Went to Hereford Cathedral and Eastnor castle

Went to the gardens for the candle night and fireworks 

Wrote a rhyming story called DreamCatcher which I am finishing off and adding to at the moment

Fell through a bush trying to get back a helicopter from someone's garden and nearly getting impaled by a metal spike while doing so. 

Hung out with my mates doing stupid stuff like singing Queen songs at the top of our lungs and ordering take away and discovering that one of your work supervisors works in the Chinese 

Joined a LGBTQ+ youth club 

Went back to my secondary school to see some of the students and teachers that are still there

Went to Bucklers Hard and Milton on sea with my Grandma 

Went to North Wales 

Visited Rhuddlan and Conwy castle 

Saw the smallest cathedral and smallest house in the UK

Went to Anglsea Island and went to the place with the longest name in the UK (Llanfairpwllgwyngyll) 

Saw the beautiful Swallow falls and the ugliest house in the UK... Which really annoyed me on a personal level 

Went to Snowdonia and saw Mt Snowdon 

I also started and finished watching American Horror Story, VGHS, and finished reading The Shining (at long last). 

I didn't go to the beach. (yay!)

I had one of THE best holidays ever and I know I'm not going to forget it in a hurry. 

P.s.

After my midlife crisis in October i decided I was going to do my best in my AS exams and see what I get. I done goofed! 

Passed Biology and Creative Writing, failed Chemistry and Maths. This year I am doing a Medical science course which is a much better option and it means I get to do one day a week work experience in a medical facility... I want to go to the morgue! 

On the plus side my Chem teacher said I was a good student, always happy, always enthusiastic! I will miss those classes. 

Eris

Right, about two years ago I got bored of all horror movies because they were no longer scary. None of them! I decided to write my own. There are six main characters and this is the back story of one of them. It wouldn't actually be in the movie or story if I chose to ever make it, this is just bonus content if you will. I just thought I would share it with you. 

P.S, The first two paragraphs weren't originally meant to be part of this, it just happened... Bit of Triv there for you.

The cell was damp and cold. How else could they try to break your spirit without breaking some law about torture, or destroying your human rights. They sit you in a dark, damp, cold cell and leave you to rot for the duration of the court decided sentence for some petty crime you committed while young and drunk.

The silence and chill slowly drives you insane and the occasional drip of unidentified greenish, brown, liquid from the water logged ceiling makes you want to just dink, or at least taste, the stuff to see if it is in fact poison, as you expect it to be. If it was poison then at least it would give me something else to think about. So, you think about how you have gone wrong and what you could have done better while seething in anger about how that twat actually got away with it.

Of course there wasn't any CCTV when he was the one attacking the poor girl but all the footage in the world when I defend one of my friends. Of course he wouldn't get convicted because he is quite friendly with the judge and said Judge's son is quite a fan of this big shot ass hole but when I try to stand up for myself in court I am labelled as a "crazy feminist" who needs to calm down and let things happen. It was my fault that she ended up in hospital, according to him, and slipped into a coma.

It was only a short sentence. A couple of weeks in a minimum security facility because this prat said he could understand the mistake and would "let it slide." I did that time. I came out again and was charged with manslaughter. She died the day I came out. So, if I am going to be in prison for at least ten years, why not go the full hog and get a couple more in.

I went after him. Tore him apart. Left his intestines in a long line in his big fancy hallway. Liver and bladder smeared on the stairs in bloody clumps. I threw his kidneys around his office as if I was throwing a couple of tennis balls around. His stomach was ripped apart when I got to it so I just left it in the bath, I mean, why the hell not. I burnt his heart. It went black, charred, life and loveless. It would be sort of symbolic if I was into that sort of shit. Any remaining blood that was in his body I drew pictures on the wall with. In hindsight they were pretty, perhaps I should try to recreate them on paper with a pencil.

Apparently when they found me I was lying on the kitchen floor. I was covered in blood and guts and holding a drill. Oh yea, his lungs were nailed to the door, I can't remember why.
Besides, that bastard deserved it.
They passed off this murder as a psychotic episode because of grief. I wasn't grieving, I don't feel sad when someone dies as it is obviously inevitable. I just wanted to kill him. Not for her, but just to send a message.

So here I am. Sat in this damp, cold cell. It doesn't matter much though, I'm breaking out soon. At least that is what I tell myself. I couldn't break out of this hell hole if I tried. The orderlies come round every half a hour with sedatives and make sure you are jacked up enough not to attack anyone(bliss), Guards at every entrance, even the fire doors! (talk about safe much), and I don't know how many security cameras.... It's like living on a episode of Big Brother but with more drugs.

My name is Eris. It comes from the Greek goddess of chaos. No one can say I don't live up to my name.

Homophobes 'R' us

It is the year 2015 and what have we accomplished so far that would not impact me too much but is still pretty epic? 

Gay Marriage in America!

That's right kids, you can now marry whoever you want no matter what their gender or sexual preference! Isn't that great? I think so, but I know people who don't.  

A grand total of three quarters of my friends are not completely straight, they are bi, gay, pan, ace, etc, and most of the remaining quarter are supportive of their friends and can be around them without making any unnecessary comments about it, like friends should. There is one of my friends who is straight, homophobic, and makes comments that are rather inappropriate for the situations he makes them in, but he acts camp and to the people who know him he seems like he is still in the closet. 

We usually ignore him, we all have each other to talk to anyway. 

There are still many people who believe anything other than straight is wrong and I think that is rather bigoted and closed minded. But what are you going to do about it. 

But the point is, we are in a age where you can be accepted for who you are and how you feel. You should never have to hide yourself because someone says it is wrong. 

It is the year 2015. If you don't like how it is; shut up, grow up, and let people be who they are. 

Don't give me that "it's how I was raised" rubbish, you know better than them. 

Emily

So a few months ago I met Emily. I was in Costa getting a drink during my lunch hour at work and I was acting like a stalker and staring at her. She sort of noticed and long story short I get her number and we became buddies! Emily is one of the most ethereal and beautiful, in looks and personality,  people I must have ever met and she is mine.

Not literally mine, we aren't together, but she is mine in the sense that she hasn't, and will not, meet any of my current friends. We agreed on this after a late night discussion when I wasn't too keen on them and she wanted to know more about my life and the people I choose to spend it with. My friends know of her and that she exists in the shambles that is my life, but they know practically nothing about her. We don't have or follow each other on social media except Tumblr, but no one would know who she was anyway.

We have this relationship because we both need someone who is unbiased and away from the day-to- day things we deal with so we can just be ourselves around each other and not have to worry about what people may think.

It also helps that we are both giant nerds and belong in the trash.



She stalks this blog too so;
                             Hey Em, Hope you don't mind me writing this... See you when you get back and bring me a present back with you in the form of sugary stuff or merch!

Cheatercheaterbestfriendeater

On Facebook I am "friends" with quite a few people, about 40% of my friends list, that post things such as relationship goals, rules for a relationship, or don't talk to your ex posts. Fair enough, your space, post what you want. I find nothing wrong with what you usually post but I have some problems with these sort of things you are sharing, so here are my rules for a relationship! 

Rule Number 1:

Don't cheat. 

That's it, don't cheat. I'm not going to stop you talking to your ex, I'm not going to stop you from meeting with other people of the same sex as me. That is controlling and I'm not sure I want to be like that. In a relationship you might get into arguments and fights but if they are cheating just get rid of them. 

All these things about trust and jealousy but you break the trust as soon as you cheat, no matter what you may have done to build it up in the first place, it's gone now. 

Yes, there are other things that should be relationship rules like don't hit each other, don't disrespect a person's opinion, or don't carry on if they say no, but if these things are happening then it isn't really a relationship and you should just leave it. 

P.s 

To the cheating thing; 

"But I was drunk so it doesn't count" 

It counts. Alcohol changes your ability to make decisions, it doesn't change your morals. It's not a reason, it's a excuse. 

P.p.s

I am rather bitter when it comes to cheating, it's happend to me when they cheated on me with one of my good friends, it's happend to a best friend of mine with the same circumstances (Same girl about 5 times, different guys), and it has ruined quite a few stable relationships that I would have looked up to as a "relationship goal" if it wasn't for it. 

And the title of this is the name of a song by Nevershoutnever that my friends and I thoroughly enjoyed a few years ago. 

Truth or dare

Never challenge me to a game of Truth or Dare. Never. I am a very open and competitive person so I don't take well to being told I'm "gonna go down". So, as the beach party season approaches I am going to share one of each of the most memorable truths and dares I have witnessed over my time of playing.

The Maggot Dare:
I was once dared to eat a maggot. As I have probably mentioned, I used to hang around with a lot of boys in primary school and they were into the gross stuff as most boys are. I had to prove that I wasn't a wimp and so this was the dare that showed that, apparently. They scooped up the first maggot they found and I inevitably shoved it down my throat. I am the only one who doesn't get squeamish when I see one of those things now.

The .... Truth:
There isn't many truths that are memorable as the same ones keep popping up every time I play but the one that always gets me, whether it is directed at me or at another, is; Have you ever cheated. All ears turn to listen to you confess whether you have been unfaithful to anyone, even if it was on a kid you were with for a week in year two. I have never cheated. Not even when drunk but when people who have answer the truth they have to face the ridicule for the rest of the night which can break some people.

Truth or Dare is not a easy game to get into with me. I will always win, don't even bother playing with my fire if you can't take the burn.

Colour

If anyone has ever seen my bedroom they will know how miss matched and colourful it is. I have blue walls and a orange rug and my furniture doesn't match from years of separate pieces being replaced when they broke. I have a black sheet on my bed and a dark blue duvet with flowers on and loads of pillows. Last night I slept on crisp white sheets in a hotel room and it made me think of a post I saw on Tumblr. 

Tumblr is obsessed with soulmate theories that could be adapted to suit fan fiction and one of them is that you only see black and white until you meet your soulmate. My world is already so colourful from the new people I meet to my old scrapbooks I made in primary school and my world gets brighter and more full of colour every day and therefore I can't imagine it changing that drastically. 

My world may not change that much, someone else's might. 

One Year On

This Saturday will be the one year anniversary of the end of my secondary school life. This Saturday also happens to be one of my best mate's birthday as well, yes my last exam last year was on a Friday the 13th on my mate's birthday... and it was maths.

Lots of things have changed over the past year such as; my hair colour, my glasses prescription, where I go to "learn", and the people I interact with on a daily basis. These have all been good changes, except the glasses thing as I am slowly getting more blind, but some things have stayed the same and it's good that they have. For example; although my old mates and I all have new friends and new people that we choose to spend our days with, we have all invited each other to birthday parties because we know it just wouldn't be the same if we weren't all there.

Last month my friend's mum did that parent thing where they tell their child's mates things that their child wouldn't tell them themselves. I, and a few others in the room, were subjected to a short speech on how her daughter misses us when we can't even see each other once a month when once upon a time we couldn't be separated. Those of us in the room decided there and then to try get us all to see one another at least once a month, even if it is just for lunch and as summer is just around the corner once again it presents the perfect opportunity for just that.

My own birthday is next month and even if I can't have a proper party, I am making them all come and see me, like the overpowering dictator god I am to them ( We all have a character from Marvel's Avengers that we associate with and I am Loki, of course).

A year on from leaving a five year long torture session in hell and the people I dragged through with me are still with me now. Thanks for that guys, Satan sends her regards.

Torture of the best kind

His lips were soft. Too soft. Like kissing a cloud of vaporised candy floss. There was no harshness there either, only dainty chick pecks. They were very pink, as pink as pomegranate seeds, which are rather red now that I think about it, as just as sweet. 

It was too fast, the experience that is. He was slow. Drawing out the nips and tongue flicks, he paced it like a long distance race. Sometimes repetitive and easy and occasionally the rare trip up where the crowd gets rattled again. It was also like a sprint. The excitement and thrill was over all too quickly. 

Breathing didn't matter, in fact we forgot how to. We were in a world where we didn't have to inhale oxygen and exhale carbon dioxide. Somehow we still managed to hitch our breaths, the gasps coming after the shivers still expired from our trachea. I am still not sure my avioli have recovered completely. 

I don't know why we stopped but he left a ghost. It haunts me every time someone new comes along. It traces a replay of our time on my skin so I am always reminded. It's torturous to live through it day after day, like the cogs constantly turning, pulling your limbs further away from your torso. 

 

I can't stop it. I don't want to. 

Lads

I'm sure by now everyone knows at least one "Lad". 

No?

Let me explain what a lad is; someone who is a bit of a twat, may be sexist, racist, or homophobic, and won't respect any views that are against social norms that you have, but you can't really stop being friends with them because you don't really know how. Now you realise you probably know one. 

I know several. All decent "Lads", but can get on my nerves at times and they do take the piss out of my views on a regular basis. I do want to stay friends with them because I would be a loner without them but I just need to be on some really strong drugs to deal with their shit. 

P.s. I don't see what the big deal about Nandos is. It's not that nice.