Language

I have Logolepsy. This means I am obsessed with words, So much so that when I was eleven I wanted to be the lexicographer on countdown. To me it makes sense that I would love words, I have been reading for a long time. I learnt to read well before I got to school. When the others in my reception class were still on “The magic Key” books, I was reading the first Harry potter, though I did mispronounce a lot of the words.

The English language has many strange words that I am very fond of. My favourite currently is Cornobble. This means, to slap or beat someone with a fish. Another pretty word is Psithurism, which is the sound of the wind blowing thought the trees and I have often wanted to yerd people when they call me strange for liking words. Yerd being to beat someone with a stick.

Our language has evolved from Shakespeare’s difficult verses, to text talk and emoji’s, which I am convinced is just human kind reverting back to hieroglyphics, and yet we still manage to create beautiful poetry, comedy, and tales with the ever expanding dictionaries of modern words that are our brains.

And who creates these amazing pieces of text that are being propelled at us from every available angle? The younger generation. We are the ones that can use shorthand and abbreviations to communicate in one moment, then churn out sonnets and soliloquies the next. We aren’t just the generation of technology, we are the generation of art.

Coincidently, there is a wonderful word that describes how I thought of this; Jouska, a theoretical conversation that you compulsively play out on your head. This Jouska came from a Sonder moment. Sonder being the realisation that everyone you pass has a life that is as vivid and as complex as yours. And although everyone has a vivid and complex life, I bet everyone will Google the words I have spoken, to make sure I am not making things up. 

The Book I Will Never Write

So many ideas flutter around my head each night. The sleep induced thoughts that drift from the deepest mesh of the brain. My thoughts are never so pleasant as to present fields of daises or butter cups, but are pleasant enough to bring fourth barriers to the monsters, or if barriers are a scarce option, a blade to duel with. 

I use these thoughts to create a manuscript. A masterpiece of language and captivating speech, a volume of adventure, of love, of life. Perhaps there is a hero, or maybe I am that. Sometimes there are villains, but I can play this part just as well. This gripping manual is perspective view of my understanding of reality, so I don't expect to make sense. 

My opus is a work in progress, a never ending story. Another tale gets added to the anthology and makes it harder to conclude. However much I want the ending to come, I am never provided with the resolution. Some things aren't meant to end. Some things aren't meant to be written.

Unfortunately, this is the book I will never write. 

Food For Thought

My diet has never been ideal. I have a sweet tooth and I eat way too much sugar for me to be healthy.


3 Months ago...
I live of what my mum calls "Student Food" which is instant noodles and canned foods. I don't drink much water, instead it's energy drinks, tea, and coke. I also don't eat at regular intervals. I don't have breakfast. My lunch is always fairly small and eaten at 3 in the afternoon. Dinner is whatever mum makes at whatever time she makes it. I snack during the day which doesn't fill me up at all. And I am not happy with my diet at all.

Now...
I am still on the student food and I still drink coke and tea. I no longer drink energy drinks excessively because they make me shake and feel too hyper for me to function as a normal human being. I drink so much water that I feel like a cucumber most days, but I know it is good for me. I still dont have breakfast but I do grab fruit in the morning if I remember, then eat it on the bus. I have regular dinners and lunches now at normal times because I have people to eat with. I do snack but that is just to keep my attention on the lessons or I will lose concentration. I am fairly happy with my diet.

My diet has always been pretty balanced. I get all the right fruit and veg and I never over did it on the bad stuff... Until a few years ago. When the stress of school started to rise, so did my need for energy and I went into school buzzed on sugar every day. I know the dangers of consuming too much sugar and fats and that is why I wanted to change my diet. I dont want to be twenty and having atherosclerosis and hypertension ( For you non med people, blocked blood vessels and high blood pressure).

Food for thought : Just think of your meat suit you pick up a can of sugar.

Dear last year.

Dear last year,
 
     You were fawning over that cool, grown up guy. He turns out to be a negative person who makes you feel like crap all the time but you realise that pretty quickly, so don't worry. You were trying to bang into your friend's head that her current boy friend was a douche. He is. You were right. You get to say "I told you so" on Christmas eve but it brings you absolutely no pleasure because it kills her a little inside. You do get to cheer her on as she cuts up all of his stuff, that's fun!

You were trying to revise for your mock exams but to no avail. Your school work is kind of rubbish because of your foul mood and you aren't eating as well as you think. You say that your great aunt's death doesn't affect you but it does. You don't feel sad that she is gone, because you accepted the concept of death a long time ago, but you get down because you start thinking about what it would be like to die. What you were to feel if you died.

When you are sat writing this next year, you will realise how much better you are, mentally and physically. You are on a much less stressful course in college and you have surrounded yourself with pretty cool people. Your boyfriend, who is a bit more childish than you although he is older, is genuinely nice to the people who deserve it. He also doesn't shout at people in customer service which you appreciate. Your friend has made so much progress when it comes to doing what is best for her. She went to Comic Con with you and did really well with the crowds! You are so proud of her. You have a actual job! it is in retail which is sort of weird but its interesting and gets you paid so it doesn't matter.

Dear last year,
 
I'll see you next November.

2014 Edition

Every so often I scroll through Facebook to delete all of the rubbish I put up there before I got self respect, before 2014 basically, and I find some pretty cool stuff. So here are some of those things I said but with better grammar and spelling. The 2014 edition/The last edition!

2014
-The way Bilbo Baggins looks at dwarfs is the way I look at you.
-I choose my clothes on whether I can brutishly kill and maim my enemies in them.
-Birds are spawned through the Devil's eye dust!
-Renowned pillow biter.
-Just told by mum to go eat the kids.... okay, if you say so.
-A sex pheromone in male mice urine was named "Darcin" after Mr Darcy.
-My heaven is what I would go to hell for.
-Queens do not weep so weakly.
-Nothing is on fire. Fire is on the thing.
-Why do people in Peppa Pig cheer when they have to dig up the road?
-"If I am for the axe, then for mercy's sake, swing it." - Loki, Thor TDW
-(Watching Sherlock)
  Sister: He's going to die, isn't he?
  Me: Killing him is SO two years ago.


This is me getting arrested at Comic Con last year... Lets hope it doesn't happen again this time!

2013 edition

Every so often I scroll through Facebook to delete all of the rubbish I put up there before I got self respect, before 2014 basically, and I find some pretty cool stuff. So here are some of those things I said but with better grammar and spelling. The 2013 edition!

2013
-May I feel? Said he. ( I posted this poem every week or so for a few months. May I feel by E.E. Cummings)
-I have programmed my sister to say Loki-Dokie instead of Okie-Dokie.
-Hang there like fruit, my soul, till the tree dies. (Shakespeare)
-Doctor Who is so far; Nudity, suggestive behaviour, and relationship talk.
-St Nick is the patron saint of prostitutes.
-Morgan is giving beauty and fashion advice to my bedroom door.
-There is a place called 'Bald knob ' in America
-A Mental Mind Fuck Can be Nice - Frank, RHPS
-I can't wait to smoke this turtle!
-"You love your wife, I love your wife, shouldn't we be on the same side?"- Casanova
-I solemnly swear I am up to no good, when I think about you more than I should.
-"I'm going to be straight with you" -Gaydar radio
-I'm so bright I have my own colour spectrum.
-I would be happy to oblige.. After you bend down and kiss my arse that is!

I think I got some decent friends at this point so some of the crap stopped.

Me, October 2013.

2012 Edition

Every so often I scroll through Facebook to delete all of the rubbish I put up there before I got self respect, before 2014 basically, and I find some pretty cool stuff. So here are some of those things I said but with better grammar and spelling. The 2012 edition!

2012;
-I dress like a doll but swear like a sailor.
-Pardon me Sir Gangster, your trousers are descending.
-Will's house is the Teenage Day Care... We should start charging!
-What if Gangnam Style is a rain dance?..... We brought Sandy to America!
-Love waving at random people because they are trying to figure out who you are for the rest of the day.
-Mary, Mary, quite contrary, let all the boys have a go. In nine months time, it's DNA time on the Jeremy Kyle show.
-Don't say goodbye. Goodbye leads to leaving, leaving leads to forgetting.
-"Why am I the only one who doesn't get banged in the corridors?" Maria, year 10
-You make me laugh and cry so much I want to punch and kiss you
-Kate Middleton has taught us that every princess has a well fit sister
-Demons never die
-Why do we get sore throats when we cry? I'm walking home and wondering why.
-Every girl starts a pawn, then they realise they should be the queen.
-I could piss off a happy meal.
-This town is like one big outpatient mental facility .
-Sat in McDonald's and there seems to be a glamorous granny competition. One went overkill on the foundation and the other is listening to rock on her apple macbook!
-Only sad people write about ending up with the dream boy.
-BRING ON THE VAMPS
-One in ten children in the UK are conceived on a IKEA bed.


I think some of them deserve context but I don't want to give any because they are pretty funny as they are.

Me, June 2012